This is WHO I AM. I am the way I am.

My name is Kimberly Fisher and I live in the beautiful city of Sedona, located in Northern Arizona. Sedona is Red Rock country and is surrounded by National Forest. It is a place of peace and growth. I feel at one with nature here and thus I feel grounded, always healing and creating. 

It was the winter of 1984, I was 11 years and I had my first migraine. It lasted almost a week and the doctors found nothing wrong. They gave me pain meds and sent me home.

Fast forward to 2008, I was 35. Two weeks before my wedding to my now husband James, I was admitted to a hospital on my wedding day. The entire two weeks leading up to our wedding I was in several different Emergency Rooms which are near where I live, each time desperate for pain relief, James and I both yelling and screaming that I needed pain relief.  The morning of our wedding day, James came into the ER and so did my whole family, who had been in town for our wedding, but had not seen me due to being in various hospitals and when at home I needed complete silence.  I needed to be still and could not talk or visit or do really anything at all. My husband made the call at around 6:00 am that morning …“we are not getting married today” he says…words that broke my heart and shattered my dream of a beautiful wedding with our loved ones. The migraines were not getting any better, just a lot worse. The hospitals tried to control my pain with various medication cocktails, which wouldn’t work and just gave me rebound headaches which brings me back into the ER 8 hours later.  I bet you can relate… A real joy let me tell you.

The morning of our wedding, after we decided to cancel our wedding, I was taken by ambulance to a hospital two  hours away, to Phoenix AZ, where they had more services and therapies than my local hospitals. They needed to do testing to make sure everything was OK or was something wrong that is producing these migraines I was/am having. By 11:00 am the pain medications they were giving me started to help. My pain level went down from a level 10+++ to about a 6…much relief for sure! For the first time in two weeks, I felt faith and hope.

I was so disappointed that we did not get married and our whole family had traveled from far away to see us get married. Both my Grandma’s and my Step-Mother were in wheel chairs. It was a big trip for them. Once my pain reduced in the hospital that day, I asked the doctor if they had a Chaplin and if we could perhaps have our wedding in the hospital? Indeed that had a Chaplin and a Chapel! The Chaplin came to meet me in my room. I told her I wanted to get married in the Chapel the very next day. She agreed, and revealed to me that they have never held a wedding there, just funerals, so she was very excited to be a part of this.  I called my family who were still up north and I asked them to come to the hospital the next day at 1:00 pm to attend our hospital wedding.

My family all came to the hospital the next day. Let me say, my memory is shaky for much of those first two weeks with the migraine. I remember the pain and the crying and screaming and enduring and all the pokes and pricks in my arms, hands and shoulder from IV’s, shots and blood withdrawals, being frightened…but most of all I remember the love I felt being walked down the aisle (My Dad and Brother standing me up)…I remember that day vividly. 

Sunday (which was the next day-our hospital wedding day) morning came and I was getting married this day. I remember I had to get an MRI early that morning. I was gone from my room for about an hour.  When I came back to my room, to my total surprise, my room was decorated with hearts and cupids and streamers. The nurses, God Bless their sweet souls, had decorated my room so it would be special and ready for the guests that were coming. My husband was with me at the hospital, and did stay with me the whole 7 days I was there, and we were the talk of the floor and even the whole hospital, as everyone wanted to be a part of our celebration, bringing happiness and celebration into a building that is often filled with doom and gloom. All the staff on that floor were on board and they all came in to greet us and wish us the best. Moving on with this day, I took a bath, combed my hair, put on a sun dress and sat into a wheel chair, to be taken to the Chapel. I had no makeup on, my hair had not been washed in over a two weeks and I had no jewelry on. Taking the bath was difficult enough and afterwards I was out of breath and needed to rest. I did manage to shave my legs-lol.  It was time for me to go to the Chapel to greet my husband to be.  

One of the nurses gave me another dose of meds, removed my IV and off I went. I got to the Chapel and my family and friends were there waiting with anticipation. Just a small crowd of nearly 30, and a few Skype’s, as we wanted a small quant wedding. Seeing all of their supportive and loving faces filled me with such joy and support, such as I had never experienced before. The look on their faces said it all…smiles and support and it immediately gave me a jolt of energy. I smiled and said thank you all for being here with us to share this special day. I was rolled in a wheel chair, down the aisle. I saw my fiancé and what I sight to see. He had not slept in two weeks, he was wearing the only clean clothes he had (shorts and tee shirt) and he had a hard time standing up. He was exhausted with lack of sleep but more so mentally as he had been so worried about me…his new wife to be.  Everything changed that day. I was diagnosed with Chronic Migraine Disease that day, a disease I was told there was no cure for. I also married the man of my dreams that day. Both of those memories I relieve in my mind nearly every day. It was day full of the best joy I have ever felt and also a day where I became aware of what was going on with me. I now had a chronic pain disease at the age of 35. 

Migraines truly saved my life. I had been going non-stop since I was 13. Little did I know I had Bi-Polar disease waiting to be triggered (and was 14 years later). I had numerous educations, including a Bachelors degree and two certifications. I was part owner in a profitable company where I produced financial conferences in Las Vegas. 

When James and I started living together, we remodeled our home and James started a new business just months before our wedding. I had produced an event with over 200 attendees only a weeks before the weekend. And it all almost killed me. Indeed, the migraines were produced from chronic stress and fatigue. I felt like Super Woman all those years (age’s 13-34). Whatever I needed or wanted, I got, but worked hard for it. I was on top of my game. I felt like I had it all…houses, investments, a great career, luxury cars and a great man who I would marry. Then one day, as we were 4-wheeling, two weeks before our wedding, the migraines hit me like a train and I thought I was going to die. I thought my head was going to literally implode and fall off my shoulders. I was super frightened because I did not know what was wrong with me or what was happening. When we got home I tried to sleep, I took an NSAID and put a pack of ice on my forehead. Nothing helped and around 3:00 pm I ask James to take me to the Emergency Room. 

Moving forward, if it were not for the migraines I could have died from a stress induced  illness. The migraines saved my life because I was force to change my whole life; who I was, how I behaved, how I lived day to day, my lifestyle and my work commitmentsAnd I did change my life, my whole life over these last 11 years of being sick. I had to reshape myself and my life to live with migraines and to learn to fight harder then I ever thought I could. I am now a completely different person. I am happy. My thoughts, feelings, attitude, demeanor, opinions, beliefs, values, rituals, priorities, ect. , etc., etc.,  are all radically different now. I have had to learn to live in peace and stillness. (even within the chaos of life).  I feel the migraines I still have, which are set off if I do not maintain my lifestyle routine, are a reminder for me that in stressful situations I need to take a step back, stop and think and act/respond in a way that is best for me and my way.

I have created a lifestyle that decreases the amount of migraine episodes I have and decrease the pain during an attack. I have a migraine nearly every day. I am on medications that cover the pain 247. The meds are released into my system 247 to create a stream of pain control that does not have ups and downs, no withdrawals and does not create rebound headaches. These medications they give me, give me a life. I sleep 10-16 hours each day, every day. I only have 8-10 hours during the day, where I am awake and function. I have designed my lifestyle so that it in effect decreases the chances that I will have a migraine episode. Take it or leave it this is WHO I AM. Note* Not by choice*.  Take me or leave me, I a have a debilitating chronic illness. I am in the emergency room about every 6 weeks. This happens when the pain I have “breaks through” the medications I am on and creates a migraine episode that I cannot control with the arsenal of meds I have. The medications  the ER gives me sometime helps, and sometimes I am back in the ER with in the same day. The staff there know me well. And as strange as it sounds I feel at home in my local emergency room. The know me, they are kind to me, they make me as comfortable as possible and the doctors know the medicine mixture that helps me.  

I have wanted to start a migraine blog for the last 11 years. I suppose the life of having migraines and only having a short amount of time during the day to function, creating this blog has been on the back burner. Only a short while ago did I make the decision to do this. I have a lot to say about having chronic migraines and severe headaches and even chronic pain. I have tried so many different things to fight and decrease my pain …Western medicine, Eastern medicine. Chinese medicine, herbs, plants, oils, massage, chiropractors, acupuncture, Thai massage, aromatherapy, therapy, counseling, diet change and even had my energy cleared from a Physic. The amount of meds I have tried should be criminal. Well, what I mean is that I’ve been on so many meds that I feel I have to compromise my beliefs and what I want to put into my body because I need pain relief more than anything. I am now using natural methods to help relieve my pain and increase my fulfillment in life. I hope that what I share could be of help to you with your struggles. You may have chronic migraine disease like me or severe headaches, I can absolutely relate. Consider me a friend. We tend to suffer in silence, hiding in dark rooms. I need support from those who can understand what I am going through. And I will offer the same to you. 

Any who, I’ve gone on long enough for this post. I hope I’ve not bored you. I hope you can relate with me and my story. Or have interest because maybe we can learn something from each other. I need the support of others, I need you and you need me. Let’s connect. I will share my tips for pain relief  (or at least what has and has not worked for me) and those of others who have shared with me. I will be nothing but honest in these posts, whether my opinion is popular or not. Whether I hurt someones feelings by writing this blog…I will be my true self and be true to my beliefs. Note* Always be your true self and be true to your beliefs*. You must go within or you go without. Find the sunshine in your situation and circumstances. Find the positives. Keep fighting and moving. Can there be positives with chronic migraines or severe headaches?

Hell yeah there can  be! There are positives in every negative situation. ..look for them.

God Bless you and may abundance come your way.

Thx bunches,

With grace and ease, Kimberly Fisher

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