It’s happening… NOW

Feeing relief with Celery

I just hurried home from a doctor apt. (my new natural path) as while I was explaining to the doc my migraine history and I was feeling fine. Then it hit me like a bullet in-between my eyes…F*&K…is this happening again?

Side bar: I have been having migraines between 3-6:0 pm for the last 3 days, today being the 4th day and it hit again today earlier at 1:30 pm, while sitting with my doctor discussing the renewal of my medical marijuana license. Needless to say, she approved the renewal.

I briskly left the office and got into my car. I took out my pill case and took 4 ibuprofen, an RX for nausea and 3 pain pills and desperately headed home. The sun was bright and my eyes would only open a little. It was hard to see as my eyes would only open slightly. I started to perspire and slightly panicked …I knew I had to get home asap or I would have had to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital. It is fortunately a quick drive home so I knew I could make it. I needed my Celafy device and my cannabis as these are my acute fixes as well as ongoing use preventable remedies.

This recent migraine path has thrown me for a loop. It is very different than what I am use to. I am curious as to what has changed?

I am here, in my dark home laying on the sofa.  I am wearing my Celafy device but have not smoke cannabis yet…it’s hard for me to write when I smoke. I wanted to be as real as I can with you, sharing with you, in real time. I am finding that while writing this post I do not focus on the pain. This is so true for me; the more distractions I have while in pain, it takes my focus slightly away from the pain because I am thinking about something else. This helps me sometimes. 

Pain is at an 6..and if it reaches a #7 I will go the ER.  —I am grateful we live close to our local emergency room. And that’s on purpose!

My body is so tense and yet fatigued at the same time. I feel have too much energy and can’t calm down. It’s not productive energy, it’s more like nervous energy or pain energy. I am all wound up because I am scared. I am really very scared. I do not know how long this will last.  Will it last for 3 weeks or 3 months? What do I have to cancel tomorrow morning if I do not feel better soon? Again-screwing up my day.  But look, I am use to this. Really I am. I have crafted a lifestyle that helps to keep me calm and feeling good,..it’s been nearly 12 years since I’ve been dealing with this beast so I have learned what I can and what I can get away with. I never have packed days because I won’t schedule my days like that. I do what I can handle and I am so use to living with this that nothing really upsets me anymore about having migraines. I am never shocked.  I have not given into my disease. I am a fighter for all things I am passionate about..like my life for one thing. I have always been a doer. I learn from things and move forward with faith, hopefulness and excitement.  No doubt, when I go down, I really go down. And this does happen a lot for me but I feel my attitude helps me adapted to this debilitating life and the Lion in me fights for a better one.  One thing is for sure…I have faith in myself.

I think I should go take the rest of my medication…so I will stop writing and rest.

I will say that it is important to try and look for the ROOT of the cause of your illness…that is not in Western medicine …to look for the root. Western medicine (from my experience) manages symptoms mostly.  Natural-path doctors and Function medicine doctors search for the root cause that is causing the illness. For years and years I have wanted to see one of these doctors as I was hopeful they could find the true cause.  But, it comes down to $$$. Medical insurance will not and does not cover Homeopath or Natural-path treatment (which is absurb and ass-backwards if you thing about it).

The Natural-path doc I saw today encouraged me to seek this kind of treatment and I hope to see her again when soon. When you are on social security disability and are only able to work a little, for myself I tend to do the treatments my health insurance covers. I do what I can but my health care is not the only responsibility, although my biggest priority, I have a husband, we just bought land and are building a home, I care for our high maintenance dog (God love him!) And I run my own business (and trying to develop that).  I have friends and family who I never see that I’’d love to reach out too. No one calls me anymore…they let me call them when I am feeling ok to talk. Lonely, but realistic.

Do what you can for yourself. Do not be depend on others, all the time. Depend on yourself. Be positive and focus now what you can do, not what you can’t.  Have a good attitude. Take advance of what you have…use your body to move as much as you can. Keep your mind sharp and healthy by learning new and exciting things. Read, listen to music, meditate, breath, stretch, relax, be calm…but always be who you are 100% of the time. Replace the judgment you carry of yourself and replace it with curiosity. What can I do? What can I become?

Ok I am all out of steam. I must smoke my cannabis so I can eat and sleep now.

With love and care,

-Kimberly

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